Things to Think About Between Sessions

Sometimes clients who are new to therapy, or have alexithymia, or book infrequent appointments, struggle with what they should be bringing up in therapy. We created this cheat sheet to help folks notice what’s going on for them between sessions, and suggest using a journal or notes app to remember those things!

Our Work Together

Do you feel like you’re making progress towards your original goals of therapy? Have new things come up or have your priorities changed?

Is there anything I could be doing differently to support you? Do you ever find it difficult to ask for what you need in session? Is there anything I’ve gotten wrong or misinterpreted that you wished you’d have told me about in the moment?

Emotions & Behaviors Between Appointments

What happens when you get activated/ triggered? Where do you notice that in your body? Are you noticing an increase or decrease in the frequency? Are you noticing that specific people/ places/ things/ situations are provoking a response?

What are the primary emotions that come up for you when things aren’t going your way? Do you notice that you try to avoid feeling certain emotions, or that they cause you discomfort?

What’s your inner dialogue sounding like? Are there reoccurring themes to negative stories you tell yourself? Do you talk to yourself like you talk to your friends?

Mindfulness: are you paying attention at all to your breathing? Do you always feel present with what’s going on around you? How often do you find that you’re zoning out?

How are you managing your time? Are you often late for things, do you deprioritize how you’d prefer to be spending time, are you trying to maintain a schedule but struggling to do so, do you have guilt about “wasting time” or lack of productivity?

How’s your sleep? Too much, too little, restful or restless, stress dreams?

Relationships

Communication patterns in relationships: Do you tend to get defensive, shut down and withdraw, do you pursue your partner when they withdraw, do you internalize and ruminate on fights/ past wrongdoing by your partner?

How do you resolve conflict with your partner? Does it feel like things get resolved or just ignored? Do things get repaired between you?

What would your ideal relationship look like, and what would you need to do to get there?

Do you notice that you feel resentful towards your partner, friends, or family?

Are there subjects that you’re afraid to bring up with people in your life?

Have you made any requests of people this week? How does it feel in your body to make requests? Have you struggled to say no to any requests that you didn’t want to do? Where do you feel that in your body?

Existential Questions

Are you living a life in alignment with your values? In work? In relationships?

Are there goals or dreams that you’ve had that you’ve let go of?

What brings meaning into your life?

Do you feel like the people in your life see you authentically/ understand you?

Sexual Health

Are you engaging in sexual acts that you’re not enthusiastic about? Do you ever feel pressured or coerced to have sex or engage in certain acts (by your partner or even yourself)?

Do you feel comfortable communicating your needs, likes, and dislikes to your partner? Is it hard for you or them to ask for what you want or even talk about sex in general? Do you or your partner get defensive or angry if one of you makes suggestions or requests of the other? Do you have any desire discrepancy issues in your relationship (one of you wants sex more often than the other)?

Do you have shame concerning sex/ your body? Do you feel any discomfort touching parts of your own body or having those parts touched by someone else?

Do you sometimes wonder if you’re asexual or feel like your sexual practices aren’t congruent with your feelings?

Oh hey, Welcome! We’ve decided to start blogging!

Can’t say for sure how often we’ll pop up or where we intend to go with this but as we continue to talk to each other, our clients, and our larger communities about things that matter in all of our lives, we decided we’d try to share some of that here on our website as well.

Some themes that you can probably expect to find here will include thoughts on family dynamics, attachment styles and attachment wounds, nuclear families and chosen families, queerness, blended families, different relationship styles and structures, neurodivergence, mixed neurodivergent relationships, parenting, aging, rural vs city living, adoption, ongoing impact of Covid and other health concerns, staying connected when needs are different, interdependence, being parents of adult children, the personal vs political, why we love Bernie Sanders, and many more exciting topics!

So stay tuned and expect our first topic to drop next week!